I’m afraid of Freida Pinto

“Why the trepidation Frank, you damned sissy?” you might ask? Hear me out. It’s because I’m afraid that I will rub my very loins into some kind of calloused, dessicated pulp on account of how intensely aroused she gets me. The beautiful actress from Slumdog Millionaire and Rise of the Planet of the Apes fame also just happens to be the highest paid Indian actress in the world. And worth every damn penny/rupee, if you don’t mind my frankness.