Mika Van Winkle supplants old fairytale characters

Well, now that amiable yet hermetic old man that shared purple magic hooch with the ghosts of Henry Hudson and his crew and then subsequently slept for twenty years has now been replaced forever in my mind. And it’s all your fault, Mika Van Winkle, you Kobe, Japan native that appeared on the cover of the very first Chinese Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. It’s not difficult to see why, just take a look for yourself folks. ::waits for applause, ends monologue::